But this is so very Hittite…
Just another Monday night correcting students’ papers… thoughts that come and go with Albinoni… now listen to this. Have you ever studied the Bible with care? Of course not, it’s just… it’s not really “the Bible” – it’s just a “collection of books” (as my plumber used to say). And therefore you can pretend to read or explain it while… even when you’re on the toilet, of course - you don’t necessarily have to be in the grace of God to read the Word of God, no: you can be in mortal sin too, and all you really have to do is to pretend that you’re a divinity scholar or a minister of one of the numberless congregations of the unitarian church of divisionism. This is too complex, but since you don’t study the Bible as you don’t, tell me: who wrote the first five books of the collection? Well, Moses, they say… at the very least, back then, it must have been a fellow who knew how to read and write.
But no. As it turns out, it was not a man but a woman – and not any woman – but a Hittite woman. An adulterous Hittite woman. An adulterous and divorced Hittite woman. An adulterous and divorced Hittite woman who was also overwhelmed by nostalgia.
Wow, but that’s amazing, and where did you get that, how do you know, how did you manage to infer all that from the text – in other words: what is your evidence?
My evidence? What evidence are you talking about, are you a Nazi??? (When you don’t know that to say, this works wonders at all times.) There is no evidence: can’t you see that the Pentateuch JUST SOUNDS like written by a Hittite adulterous divorced woman, who was overwhelmed by nostalgia for King David???
Ok, this sounds like rubbish, we all agree. And yet, not one among the colleagues of this super-sized moron has ever protested against the idiocies that he sells to students and their paying families, at the discount rate of 50,000 dollars/year. Does it take a rocket-scientist to understand that as soon as people realize the fraud, they will -not only- ask for a refund of their tuition fees, but also for moral damages?
Never mind this madman - how about his colleagues who play deaf and pretend not to see and hear. Is it credible to assume that they have never read even one of the trashbooks he publishes with Riverhead, a very famous and respected academic press…
And how much do these hypocrites steal every year, to pretend that they know anything about intellectual honesty and scholarship?
Who do they think that they can fool?
There’s a word for it in every language – retribution, karma, nemesis, contrappasso… what goes around comes around very fast and furious for the donkeys.
I just love Hittite – and so did Moses.
I want my money back too.